Advice: I don’t plan on returning… (follow-up)

Originally posted June 18, 2001

(The following is a follow-up to: Do guys prefer girls to shave down there?)

I love how you guys are such ass holes about me asking a repeated question...i just found your site recently, and liked it, but now that u guys r being such dicks about it,i dont plan on returning, well i might just to see if u reply to this!

Leesa
  • Bogdan:

    Well, we might as well just take the site down now. There's really no point if Leesa stops coming around.

  • Stasiek:

    Oh please Leesa, PLEASE forgive us.

  • Piotr:

    Of course you would come back. You're curious as to how bad we're gonna burn your useless ass. Let's put it this way, if there weren't people like us to keep dimwits like you in check, this world would be a fucked up place.

  • Janek:

    We'll miss you terribly.

By Advice|Published January 26, 2012
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Advice: Would you dump the best girl you could get if she cheated?

Originally posted June 18, 2001

would you dump a girlfriend who cheated on you..but is by far and away the best piece of ass i will ever get (its simply reality)

joe
  • Bogdan:

    Hang on to her for dear life, because I'm frankly shocked that any woman would be with a loser like yourself.

  • Stasiek:

    You PUSSY.
    You're a disgrace. Hand in your balls.

  • Piotr:

    Sure, if you lack balls, dignity, integrity, courage, self-respect, and the ability to find another girl.

  • Janek:

    It sounds like you see her simply as a sex object. Is she aware of this? It could be that your relationship lacks an emotional connection, which is why she strayed.

    In any case, it would probably be best for both of you to move on. You also seem to have some self-esteem issues that would be best to resolve.

By Advice|Published January 25, 2012
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Advice: Should I stop him from getting married?

Originally posted June 18, 2001

I recently ran into an ex-boyfriend of mine a couple of weeks ago at a local bar in my home town......I was extremely surprised because I'm hardly in town due to business trips and the same goes for him. One of my girlfriends' that accompanied me that evening said she witnessed a truly magical phenomenon when him and I embraced......she said we were just glowing with happiness. In my heart I know that he's my true soul mate and I am in love with him, eventhough I am currently in a relationship with someone else, who I've been with for 2 years now. Just so you know, last year, my ex tried to get me to break up with my current beau because he wanted to rekindle, I almost did, but I decided not to......... only because I wanted to give my current beau a chance, but now I regret it, which I will get to in a moment. Back to the evening my ex and I saw each other at a bar -- I was a little tipsy and next thing you know he had me sitting on his lap while whispering wonderful things into my ear, such as, "You know I've always been in love with you". My mouth literally dropped to the floor......I couldn't believe what I was hearing he never said that to me before. I told him that I didn't have a clue about how deep his feelings were for me. I was eladed! Long story short, afterwords, we ended up at his place......and then in his bed........I thought to myself this must be fate, we are meant to be together and now that I know he is in love with me I will break it off with my current boyfriend so that I can be with him, right?......... wrong! The next morning I kissed him goodbye and left early -- only to realize once I got home that I had left my cell phone at his place. So I called him and he picked up and we started to talk, when all of a sudden he said, " I have something I need to tell you........I'm engaged". I was in a complete shock..... I didn't even know what to say......I couldn't react the way I really wanted to, which was to SCREAM! Instead, I remained calm and said, "You've got to be kidding, you are not getting married". His reply was "I'm supposed to". What does "I am supposed to" mean? Sounds so obligatory and uncertain to me. And to top it all off he's only known her for 8 months and they've set a wedding date already for September 1st. I am just baffled......he barely even knows her and vice versa. I don't belive that he's in love with her, 'cause if he were he wouldn't have been with me........That was quite a risk to take, considering the circumstances and the fact that we didn't use any protection. How about if I were to become pregnant, then what?

What I need to know is if whether I should stop him from getting married to this person and see if he wants to work things out with us or should I just let it be. Please help, quick.

Caress
  • Bogdan:

    I see. He's your "true soulmate," as opposed to your other average soulmates. Well, since he's your true soulmate, you have to make him call off the marriage. I mean, you can't possibly be happy with anyone else. You guys were destined to be together! It was written in the stars!

    Also, I hate you, and you irritate me severely.

  • Stasiek:

    zzz.......zzzz.......zzzz......zzzz....zzz.........

    Oh, is it over yet? Good.
    Grow up you moron. This guy is your soul mate? He got you in bed one more time, fucked your sloppy ass, and then got rid of you. Simple as that. If he was "so in love with you" he wouldn't have even told you he's engaged...he'd be with you.
    You got used for a quick last fuck and I'm sad to say you deserve it. You're with some poor guy that you don't even love, that you cheated on, because of "fate."
    Quit being so fucking childish and use what little brain God handed you. I know I'm usually mean on here, but this is honestly the stupiest "sob story" I ever heard. He doesn't love you, he's not your "soulmate," and you gave him a mean blowjob for nothing.

  • Piotr:

    I have no idea why your ex just doesn't get back with you for good. I LOVE long-winded boring women who don't know when to shut up.

  • Janek:

    1. It was a huge mistake to have unprotected sex. You had no idea who he had been with, and you could have gotten pregnant.

    2. You cheated on your boyfriend, and it sounds like you don't really feel anything for him anyway. Break up with him and let him find someone that really cares about him

    3. It sounds like your ex simply wanted sex from you one more time. Had he wanted you more than his fiancee, he would have told you about her beforehand and told you that he's going to leave her for you. Instead, he told you on the phone after he got what he wanted. He sounds like a huge jerk, and you'd probably be better off without him.

By Advice|Published January 24, 2012
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Advice: My boyfriend needs to have sex all the time…

Originally posted June 18, 2001

What can I do to not make this a production?


My boyfriend NEEDS to have sex all the time! If I'm tired or don't feel like it, he acts like a 5 year old throwing a fit! He makes me have so much anxiety about doing it, that I don't want to! What can I do? We always argue about this and it's getting annoying.
(by the way..we're both mid-20s and plan to get married)

Frustrated!
  • Bogdan:

    What's the point of even being in a relationship if you can't get sex whenever you want it? What other reason could men possibly have for staying with one woman?

    Stop being such a prude.

  • Stasiek:

    Smart, smart, move planning on a marriage. It sounds like you two are completely compatible and perfect for a successful marriage.
    Constant fighting is part of every healthy relationship, so there's nothing you need to do about your situation.

  • Piotr:

    Simple, don't get married, stupid.

  • Janek:

    He's obviously very immature and definitely isn't ready for marriage.

    Also, it sounds like the two of you are very sexually incompatible. I seriously doubt this relationship could last long-term.

By Advice|Published January 23, 2012
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Advice: Are there any male virgins out there?

Originally posted June 15, 2001

Are there any male virgins out there? It really doesn't seem like it!

Wondering
  • Bogdan:

    Nope! As a man is being born, his penis is technically inside of his mother's vagina.

    So, we're all born as non-virgins.

  • Stasiek:

    Thanks for rubbing it in....bitch.

  • Piotr:

    I'm sure a thorough search of your area high school will reveal what you need...

  • Janek:

    Yes, I assure you there are!

    Also, keep in mind that teenage boys will often lie about their sexual conquests to impress others.

By Advice|Published January 22, 2012
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Advice: He had the biggest penis ever and today I’m hurting so bad…

Originally posted June 15, 2001

Last night I had sex with this guy who had the biggest penis ever inside of me. Today I am hurting so bad. It felt so good last night when we were doing it, but not so good today. I want to have sex with him again, but I am afraid of the soreness in the morning. I cannot even imagine having mid day sex with him. I am not sure what to do.

Lucy
  • Bogdan:

    I'm sorry. We're obviously going to have to stop seeing each other.

  • Stasiek:

    Walk around every day with a giant cucumber in your vagina. After a few weeks, you'll be able to handle anything.

  • Piotr:

    You could stop making up stories about make-believe guys with huge penises.

  • Janek:

    Your question is obviously made up.

    If his penis caused severe soreness the next day, then it wouldn't "feel so good" when you were having sex. Penetration would have been painful and it would have been uncomfortable the entire time. You would have been asking what you could do to make sex with a man with a very large penis less painful.

By Advice|Published January 21, 2012
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Advice: My step mother made with me sex and she had a baby from me…

Originally posted June 15, 2001

my mother died and my father maried another one
my step mother one day walk me up while i was sleeping and puted out all of my closes and become to make with me SEX she said to me if i tell my father that she make with me SEX
she will tell him that i 'am who pleased her to make with her a SEX
we made SEX from 4 years untill this day
i have now 16 years old

the problem now is my step mother made with me SEX twice a day and she had a baby from me but my father didn't know
my organ now began to be die
i want a solution

MOSTAFA
  • Bogdan:

    You tell me Jane die and Tarzan marry other? That sad.

    You run from jungle. Leave Tarzan deal with baby and crazy wife.

  • Stasiek:

    Ah, this brings me back. I also had SEX with my step mom when I was 12, and I too, impregnated her.
    Do the admirable thing and marry her. That's what I did.

  • Piotr:

    I refuse to answer questions for retarded foreigners.

  • Janek:

    I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "my organ now began to be die."

    You should discuss the entire situation with your father. He obviously needs to know, and I'm sure he'll realize the trauma you've gone through.

By Advice|Published January 20, 2012
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Advice: Should I ask out the manager of the car dealership?

Originally posted June 15, 2001

I am interested in a guy who is the manager at the car dealer/service department where i take my car (alot). I dont know if he is married/girlfriend, etc. I really want to get to know him outside of his job and/or go out with him or something. I dont want to talk to him about his personal life in front of his co-workers. I was thinking about asking him out as a thank you, should i do it??????

Stacey
  • Bogdan:

    Your question boils down to, "I like someone. Should I ask him out?"

    What the hell do we care??? Are you going to start running all of your petty little decisions past us?

    "Hi. My name's Stacey. I think I might like Count Chocula, because I like marshmallows and I like chocolate. Should I try it?"

  • Stasiek:

    Why don't you just invite him out with a group of friends instead of a date first. Say, "Hey, me and my friends are heading to this bar tonight. You should join us."
    That might be easier.

    Then, if all goes well, you can spread your legs for a loser car dealer later that night.

  • Piotr:

    Why don't you tell him that your car is making a ticking noise, and he needs to take it for a test drive. Get in with him, and when he gets a good distance away from the dealership and at a stoplight or something, climb over onto him and shift his stick for him.

  • Janek:

    Sure! What have you got to lose?

By Advice|Published January 19, 2012
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Advice: What should you do when you’re kicked out for forgism?

Originally posted June 15, 2001

What should you do when you get kicked out of "Six Flags Great America for forgism?

saul
  • Bogdan:

    You're either a complete dimwit or have absolutely no sense of humor. Take your pick!

  • Stasiek:

    Once, I got thrown out for fizzism. It's tough, so you'll just have to deal with it I guess.

  • Piotr:

    What the fuck is forgism? Is that like committing a forgery while having an orgasm?

  • Janek:

    Get in your car and go back home.

By Advice|Published January 18, 2012
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Advice: I’m obsessed with small penises…

Originally posted June 13, 2001

I have a strange obsession for smaller penis's. while most girls love big ones..i can't help but like small ones. is this un-natural? is something wrong with me? PLEASE HELP!

Baby
  • Bogdan:

    No, it's perfectly normal to lust after something that can't provide you with any physical stimulation whatsoever.

  • Stasiek:

    Well, I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY glad women like you exist.

  • Piotr:

    This is like Stasiek's obsession with small breasts, which is wildly abnormal. Yes, you are a freak.

  • Janek:

    It's not unnatural or wrong. It's simply your preference.

    Everything has different likes and dislikes, and you just happen to like small penises.

By Advice|Published January 17, 2012
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